And again I welcome you, dear reader or the reader of the InfoAdvisor.net Internet magazine. I want to make one interesting proposal. And let's meet, will dress up we penguins, we will come in the middle of day to a central square, we will dance and sing songs? What? You ask, whether I went mad? Well, and why is also not present? What people, and, in general, will think as I can make such – you ask? Or perhaps on the contrary, it you hesitate? Well, you will think, after all in suits nobody recognizes you, and it is seemingly authorized to dance. That is from the point of view of a public assessment and the law everything is all right. But all the same you refuse to do it. Most likely, you have a shyness. Heard such proverb impudence – the second happiness? Here for this happiness, to be exact we and now with you will fight for shyness overcoming.
Shyness emergence reasons
Shyness results from the wrong education. Your parents in the childhood constantly went on to you: here do not go, do not do it. As such unflattering statements extended on the majority of your initiatives, your aspiration to do something was almost completely in depression. Therefore you had to do only that is important for your life or that parents wanted.
And everything that is acquired in the childhood, very strongly takes roots in you. Therefore you can feel fears of phone calls, communication with strangers, acquaintances to people of an opposite sex and in general before everyones non-standard to actions. And at emergence of a situation of a choice to do or not to do instead of trusting in reason and common sense – you trust in your internal saboteur who will think up any tales, includes the fear which is holding down the movements. And all if only to protect you from any action. So you can pass the destiny also.
In the person there are 3 levels of rooting of models of action. The deepest – instincts. Are developed and change for years, therefore to change them it is almost unreal independently. The following, second level – traditions and stereotypes. Rootings are very stable therefore to change them very hard, but it is possible. There is also the third level – habits. Change very easily. Wanted – cancelled. Any problems.
Now I for you, timid mine, have two news: good and bad. Good that your shyness – not from the level of instincts, and bad that, unfortunately, and not at the level of a habit. And on what? Correctly, on the second, at the level of stereotypes and traditions. Therefore to get rid of shyness it is necessary to work a little. But do not worry, InfoAdvisor.net will help you, for this purpose it also is created.
We treat shyness
Having read the above-written text, you convicted the internal saboteur. On consciousness positions it obviously handed over. But at the level of subconsciousness text information is useless. Subconsciousness believes only in reality. When to you everything was forbidden, it also remembered. Therefore do not trust those who says that studies on others mistakes. All this full nonsense.
But we will return to our shyness. Our main objective at the moment to beat out it from subconsciousness. We will beat out its experience.
If you are young – that for disposal of shyness of InfoAdvisor.net will advise you to use strategy "Hi". Very often it is applied on trainings on a seducing, to overcoming of fear of communication. The person goes down the street and, smiling to passersby, speaks "Hi". And so 100 times. Anything of that kind, simply "Hi". Next day already go and ask a simple question, like "What time is it now?". Too to repeat 100 times.
It is best of all to make quite so. And in the subsequent try to communicate even with a great effort with all people who surround you. Do it with a smile. Generally, the main essence of this exercise that you have to communicate as often as possible. Even with a great effort. Will not see yet that is not terrible, and even it is pleasant. The indicator of that it is possible to continue to live in normal speed is when it simply bothers you and it will want to have a rest from people. Only do not mix this feeling with fear and inconvenience. We also want to get rid of it.
So, communicate – and overcome shyness in communication. But what to do with shyness which is barriers in initiative and activity? Approximately the same. Only you should not grab at once important issues. Try to leave in a crowded place and to read verses or still somehow to make not absolutely standard act. And it is desirable that the person who will be able to kick "parting words" was near.
By such way you simply get used not to be afraid to do something or to communicate with someone. And shyness will leave by itself.
Shyness and public opinion
This section is intended for those who could not carry out the instruction of the previous section independently. Really to overcome itself much very hard, which is not surprising. The matter is that for you plays public opinion large role here. We will and use it, only against him. Here sure bet. Or you will not reckon with public opinion – but then the necessary result is already available, or will carry out the actions directed on eradication of its importance under pressure of the same opinion.
InfoAdvisor.net recommends to ask for the help or the acquaintance whom you respect and at whom lack of a similar complex, but presence of sense of humour is observed. Or to find simply group of adherents, but with and creativity.
So, the essence is that you give each other interesting and unusual tasks under fixed supervision of the others. The opinion of close people will be more important than opinion of rubble to which your efforts will drop for you. Besides you will be able cheerfully to spend time.
It is very important not to use during performance of tasks of any dopes for mind, type of alcohol or, God forbid, drugs. The matter is that consciousness in time intoxication one, and in a sober look another. Therefore if you learn to get rid of shyness in the got drunk state – that to repeat, you should accept a dose of the stimulating preparation again. That for the healthy person very dangerously. Especially the request for the help is a sign of inability to win most, and in this case against weaknesses.
InfoAdvisor.net wishes you success in fight against shyness and self-confidence.