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Psychology of the personality   Psychology of the relations   

How to keep the relations at distance

It in America, it in Russia. "What love?!" - many will exclaim. "The most real", - those who already passed torture in kilometers will answer and passed tests. Actually, everything is subject to the real feelings: both distance, and separation. And it is possible to live all life side by side and by 60 years "not to get on together".

In what complexity?

In the relations at distance there is one big complexity – to remain anyway a part of the life of each other. There are moments to which even you do not pay attention, some ridiculous case at work, an adventure on parking, all this, apparently, nonsense and in a week and will not be remembered. But when you live them together with the loved one, there is between you a feeling of relationship and participation in each other life.

Most heavier it is necessary those couples which got used to live together, to see each other every day, and then on some circumstances they had to be separated. After all cohabitation gives many advantages, couple gets used to solve everything together, to rely at each other, together to carry out rest, and then all this disappears. And here such problems as an innuendo and the indistinct joint future can begin. The lack of communication or its transformation can negatively affect. Now talk happens generally the text and by voice, and it is difficult to get used to it after couple communicated personally. And in spite of the fact that today technologies offer the mass of opportunities for communication, in the form of video calls, social networks, but emotional bond which happens only at physical contact, they do not give.

There is at the relations at distance one more specific complexity – impossibility up to the end to sort out the relations. If people are far apart, they cannot quarrel, and then quietly discuss a situation and reconcile as it is done by couples living together. Someone can ignore calls and messages, and his partner cannot come to him and understand what business. And therefore there is a big risk that each quarrel can become the last.

Terrible danger in the relations at distance is covered in losses of trust. After all there is no opportunity to check, whether darling deceives you. In many respects the trust in the relations depends on the personality and on that as far as the person is subject to jealousy.

It is difficult to maintain the relations at distance and to people who have material problems. Because it is necessary to be spent much to meet the elect, and also also long distance calls, parcels and other cost expensive. This factor is very important for someone.

To men in separation it is more difficult

The statistics inevitably confirms that the majority of the relations at distance come to an end because of men. In separation it is necessary the stronger sex more difficult, than to women because of the psychological and physiological features. If, for example, the woman has such situation that she will need to choose between the admirer real and the person at distance, it is not known yet whom she will choose. And here the man at the same deal almost in all cases will choose that that nearby. Thus that, other woman who is far, can remain an ideal for the rest of life.

By the nature of the woman more true, waiting, romantic therefore they are ready and to the relations at distance. And at men on the first place their physiological requirements which they should satisfy often act. But after all there are qualities at the man which prevent it to have a ball, it either complex, or employment. In these cases the man normally transfers separation, and upon return to the woman of the relation develop well.

But sometimes nevertheless and women become the initiator of a gap after life in separation. For example, when being at distance from the elect, it finds to herself the gentleman and has an opportunity to compare the relations with both of them. Also draws conclusions in favor of the new elect.

Not reason for separation

Those women who consider that it is possible to swear at the husband though to an upad are right, but to sleep after that it is necessary to go to one bed. And though some psychologists advise couples for the solution of certain problems to live separately, actually this act can become the beginning of the end. Instead of dispersing on different houses, reduce by time the communication to a minimum, it is possible to be crossed, leave less often a bit earlier and to come later, but the main thing, that to the same apartment. And the certain family questions concerning children, the budget, trips need to be discussed together.

Even if you do not talk with each other, all the same you conduct joint life, and over time problems will be solved, and having parted, many do not meet.

Not reason for separation and long business trips of one of partners. In an ideal of the spouse have to go together. If such opportunity is not present, it is necessary to plan so a trip that the partner could arrive at any time. Getting to other place, to other city the person has a feeling of loneliness and forlornness. It lasts not for long and soon the person adapts and there can quite be a feeling, as most not badly to live, in principle.

It is difficult to determine the maximum term which people can live the friend without friend without threat for their relations. It everything depends on that, attachment, how strong at couple. There are people who 20 years were lived together, and on the former go by a hand, and there are those who two years together and thus sleep in separate beds, and at them it is considered normal. Everything depends on specific features of the person.

The love key to success at distance

Very difficult happens to people who lived all life nearby, to express the feelings, especially it is difficult to make it by that who at distance. And many do not understand importance of exchange of information about routine incidents, and as a result when after long separation people meet, they have nothing to talk, they as if foreign people who should get acquainted anew. That it did not occur, it is necessary to share every day with each other that occurs in life. Not to be sorry for favourite warm words.

At the same time, being in separation from the elect, it is not necessary to conduct monastic life. Darling is the huge part of the life but not all. Surely there has to be a place both for a family, and for friends, interesting work, a hobby. Develop the personality, open before yourself the mass of new opportunities and the horizons, now you can be engaged in that, on what there was no time earlier – to master belly dance, yoga, drawing. It is good if time in separation becomes growth time.

Pledge of the successful final of love at distance according to is a clear idea of the joint future. Do not hesitate to make plans, discuss future meetings. And, of course, remember romanticism. There are millions of ways to tell about the love. It is possible to send to darlings flowers, cards, candies, souvenirs and even a romantic dinner to the house to the elect from restaurant, having paid the order with electronic payment. It is possible to prepare a surprise which will "shout" of your feelings, for example, to send the collection of "your" songs on an elektronka or to appoint appointment on Skype, generally, the imagination is not present a limit.

And the most, perhaps, main thing, in any relations at distance is important that both lovers believed that the chance to overcome kilometers is. And if you are sure that met true love – do not give up! And then the distance will become that mighty wind which small fire will extinguish, and big will allow to inflame even more strongly.

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