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Psychology of the personality   Psychology of the relations   

How to bring up in itself the leader

Are not born leaders, become leaders. Psychologists developed a set of systems and ways of development of psychology of the leader and leadership skills long ago. In this article will consider some psychological exercises as there is a lot of them and most of each other supplement or alter.
Как воспитать в себе лидера First of all it is necessary to give definition to the word the leader. The leader – the one who holds general mood in hand, creates the emotional atmosphere, the one who knows for that he does it. Are not born leaders, become leaders. And to become the leader, it is necessary to bring up itself respectively, to learn to set to itself the purposes and priorities.
The leader, it not obligatory the person with outstanding natural abilities, ultrahigh IQ. It first of all the person having intuition, an insight and skill to communicate.
There are many qualities which attribute to leaders. And practically all of them appear in the course of purposeful work on themselves. The psychology of the leader is a way of thinking, a way of an assessment of reality and the opportunities. It is the filter which helps to remain the self-assured person trusting in the forces. And the psychology of the leader needs to be brought up in itself if you want to achieve success.
Psychologists developed a set of systems and ways of development of psychology of the leader and leadership skills long ago. In this article will consider some psychological exercises as there is a lot of them and most of each other supplement or alter.

Do the leader of yourself

Делайте лидера из себя Changing itself, remain yourself. You should not put on a mask of the one whom you want to become even if you wish very strongly. Only inflation of cheeks instead of an objective assessment of the opportunities, work on itself, self-realization, to any good results will not lead. Try to use at full capacity all energy which is given you, the talents, abilities.
There is waiting for results from reading popular psychological literature with yarkogovoryashchy and promising titles it seems "A leader in a week", "How quickly to become the millionaire" and to them similar, biographies "celebrities and uspeshnost". Will not be useful and visit of courses on which self-appointed wonderful couple bio-psychologists, naturally, for remuneration, will learn to become successful people for what will offer "a magic shovel" of dollars so for 100. The objective assessment of, the opportunities together with self-development, accurate statement is more whole – here that is necessary.
To analyse the shortcomings, to accept them (that already on itself is a step forward) and to eradicate, there are next ways:
  1. Talk to the internal critic. Listen to all his remarks concerning yourself and people around, objectively object it. And it is even better to get a notebook in which to write down everything that he will tell you, without embellishing in any way. Write criticism to the address from the second person as though it really there were words of other person. For example, instead of "I in it am not right" it was necessary "it in it is not right". Learn to answer all its attacks cool "well and that …"
  2. Learn opinion of close friends and relatives. Give them a sheet of paper or the cartridge on which they will have to write down all bad that in you see also everything, for what love you. It is desirable that friends were the relatives, and amount of bad and good lines approximately identical. And it is necessary not to be afraid and to read/listen to everything up to the end. Then your fear of own inferiority will turn back the ally. Only it is necessary not to be afflicted, and adequately to eat to reflection new food.Лидер - это в первую очередь человек, обладающий интуицией, проницательностью и коммуникабельностью
  3. Write the shortcomings and the reasons which are not allowing to reach what want on a sheet of paper and then burn it. It is possible to carry out procedure several times for achievement of bigger result. Be not afraid to be honest before yourself. Write everything that comes to mind. Unburden the heart to paper. emphasizes that you have to be most honest before yourself. Write for all day. So, if the reasons causing discontent collect – will be able to add. It is better to use the following structure: write the purpose and the failure reasons are lower. Repeat the act of cremation of objectionable personal qualities in process of stay, emerging in memory or at will.
  4. Every day note the progress. At the end of day, before going to bed, write down everything in a notebook that you could make today. Let there will be seven or more points. It will help to adjust itself on performance of the affairs planned in the plan at least for tomorrow. And carry out it irrespective of "kashernost" of day. That it happened, under each date there have to be executed affairs. Will note for yourself at once and failures. This exercise will have to help to reveal weaknesses and to draw up the plan of "self-correction".

Personal qualities of the leader

It is rather difficult to change itself, long and difficult. The internal voice seditious needles, says that "it is impossible and in general you should not be got involved". But we that with you people clever, understand that very much even costs. There are many qualities which are considered as the leader. If you do not have them, they need to be developed irrespective of, where or in what you want to be a leader. How? Further will consider psychological exercises which can develop qualities necessary for the leader or will plan a way to their development.

Саморазвитие – ключ к успеху Self-development – a key to success. It among other things assumes accumulation of experience, knowledge and desire to develop "infinitely aspiring to an unattainable ideal". Read more books not only on that area in which are going to be engaged, but also on other areas. Who possesses information – that owns the World. Study at others. Watch work of those people who as you consider, achieved success deserving respect. Study on others mistakes and as there is no wish for it, on the. Remember those people from the life whom it is possible to call leaders. Analyse through the saved-up experience that they did as got out of the difficult situations, their behavior, their relation to the world.
Communicate more, strike up new acquaintances which never happen superfluous. Look for new friends. Information which can receive in the course of communication, can be actually important, and it can be necessary after a while. Besides there will be an experience to understand mood, true thoughts of people that for the real leader is very important. Also it is not only about "useful" acquaintances. Conversation with the vagrant musician can bear in itself much more advantage, than long acquaintance to other official.
All this will allow you to fill up the baggage of knowledge which surely is required in the future. The world is not limited visible, it is limited to sight.

Skill to communicate
Лидеру свойственно с помощью правильно построенной речи заинтересовывать окружающих, объединять под общим началом Skill to communicate is not only ability accurately and consecutive to express the thoughts. In addition, the leader can interest by means of correctly constructed speech of people around, to unite under the general beginning.
    As a result of one of sociological polls it was revealed that to about 65 percent of heads, in opinion, employees, does not get ability to use social and psychological approaches.
In other words, the desire to cooperate has to be reasonable. And therefore it is necessary to build communication so that it is maximum "to approach soul" the employee, to increase feeling of personal participation in activity of collective. Thus it is very important to know about interests and the purposes of everyone, and taking into account this knowledge to manage to explain how performance of the general planned task will promote achievement of interests of everyone. recommends to communicate with all as equals, at the same time without forgetting about the leadership. To be in collective "" and not to seem the person who is unfairly applying for leadership try to communicate more with all (it is necessary that everyone realized the personal importance). Participate in the solution of daily problems of collective, in its leisure. In communication we will tell about behavior elements further.

Это то качество, без которого невозможно представить ни одного лидера. Для развития уверенности в себе необходимо постоянно (лично для себя) фиксировать свои же достижения, успешно выполненные задачи. This that quality without which it is impossible to present any leader. For development of self-confidence it is necessary constantly (personally for itself) to fix the achievements, successfully carried out tasks. And that is not less important, not to stop before the solution of the next problem, with a certain aggressiveness to look for various options of an exit from it – passing through difficulties always increases confidence in own forces. In more detail already stopped on this question (in the material "How to Develop Self-confidence"), here we want to tell how that confidence in conversation process is shown. Through communication it becomes easy noticeable as far as you are sure of yourself and the point of view. It is felt and on a voice timbre, and by the words used by you, and even on a look and position of your body.
You want to feel the leader?! Then show confidence very clearly, trust yourself. At conversation hold the head directly, look in the face to the interlocutor. Shoulders have to be relaxed, expose a breast a little.
Accurately state the thoughts and whenever possible do not use the words giving to your speech shades of uncertainty and excessive softness: "as if", ", it seems,", "probably", "I so think". Try to state everything so that the listener had as little as possible uncertainty in stated by you. Everything has to be extremely accurate, short and clear. Instead of the word I "think" use the word "is sure" or at least I "consider". Try not to justify phrases like "I in this case not the expert", "I here quite recently" and we designate. For this purpose return to the first point and remember that you comprehensively developed personality, and to such phrases not a place in your words.
You should not and try to press on pity in any conversation. The timbre and depth of sounding of a voice can tell a lot of things about your state. Watch the voice. Let he will be accurate, moderately loud and equal.

Благодаря выносливости вырабатывается уверенность в себе, и в то же время сама уверенность вкупе с силой воли, твердостью характера способствуют выработке этой лидерской черты в человеке Thanks to this quality it is developed and already stipulated self-confidence, and at the same time confidence together with will power, backbone promote development of this leader line in the person. And the sense of responsibility (about which we will also talk) in a question of presence of endurance has to be not freight, but incentive for further actions.
"Not to be discouraged" is has to become one of the main rules in your life. That it happened – good or bad, you have to understand that not always you are guilty of it or those who was near. Always there is an element of chance. So it is necessary to consider still time, to calculate and try to the victorious final. If, of course, it is necessary for you.
    Thomas Edison created the glow lamp only after two-thousand experiment. And he made experiments, without having any technical education, under sneers of "certified specialists". On the journalist's question, whether it was easy for it to make experiments after so many failures, Edison answered that did not receive unsuccessful results at all, and found 1999 ways how not to create a bulb.
Only overcoming difficulties it is possible to make of himself the leader. Unfortunately, line of least resistance, most often, it not ways of the greatest advantage. Doing itself ease in smaller, lose a support in the form of experience and psychological readiness for difficulties in the future.
    If to help a butterfly to get out of a cocoon, having cut it, it is possible to deprive this a butterfly of opportunity to fly. Because when she resists, tries to break off a cocoon, the liquid giving them strength to flight comes to her wings. The same and with the person.
Set the tasks with which as you consider, now you have no enough forces to consult. Also do everything that is necessary for achievement. Only high level of claims to itself and gives to the opportunities their development. "Lazy are always going to make something" are words of the French writer Vovenarga Luke of De Clapie. So, if something was planned, do not postpone. Do and do not look for justifications not to do. Let sounds it is banal, but it so.

Сохранение спокойствие и трезвости мыслей, даже в самых критических ситуациях – одно из личных качеств лидера, позволяющее оставаться во главе Preservation tranquillity and sobriety of thoughts, even in the most critical situations – one of personal qualities of the leader allowing to remain at the head.
Do not allow to enrage you to anybody and anything. Try to exclude a maximum of the negative from the life. It can be things which you for some reason store but which somehow disturb. It can be people who are unpleasant. Try to communicate with those who is pleasant to you. As if cruelly it sounded, but during communication with the people who are constantly complaining of life, aching, ourselves incorporate their problems.
It is impossible to give advice, uniform for all how to be balanced. It is not necessary to melancholiacs, and to choleric persons will hardly help. Remember that all your actions have to be guided only by reason, but not emotions and, is exact, not anger. The most banal and widespread council: to calm down, count to 10, 50, 100 and if it is necessary, in special cases on the verge with affect, and to 1000. Helps me if, of course, to count enough.

Умейте сказать нет Be able to tell "no". As often it is necessary! And we in fear to lose the friend, to be in trouble or it is simple to offend someone, cannot tell this simple word from three letters. Well, companions, "to study, learn and to study once again …". suggests to play with the friend the imagined dialogue with participation you and any person for which position, probably, integrity obligatory is not. And here you need something that this person refuses to carry out, but is obliged. The one who will nonplus the opponent is considered won, having deprived of him arguments. Very useful game. Do not use complaints, charges, threats. Only the confidence and intelligence.
Conform to the same rule and in life. You have to assert the rights, be able to prove case and to speak "no". Do not give in on tricks when press on your pity, conscience or sympathy. Let your word will be firm so that any hope vanishes. And with it and "klyanchany" services which performance will entail for you too big inconveniences. And, the most important, hold self-control.
Be able to tell "no" and to. Freud after all spoke about fight in us going. Remember that not all your weaknesses have to be satisfied. It can be because of some common cause or it is simple because it harms to you. Give up smoking, do not drink in day on a beer bottle, do not buy a chocolate because it in a beautiful wrapper …

Ability to make decisions
Лидер – он как источник разнообразных идей, в нем заложена та доля креативности, которая позволяет ему всегда продумывать наперед будущее, строить планы и схемы их воплощения в жизнь Let initiative will fill life in everything. Going to shop, do not think to buy "something by a dinner". Know precisely that you want to prepare, and what products are for this purpose necessary.
Train in yourself the initiative person constantly, risk. The leader – it as a source of various ideas, in it is put that share of creativity which allows it to think over always beforehand the future, to make plans and schemes of their embodiment in life.
Thinking over your plans (personal, working, creative, etc.), recommends to make the list of possible options of actions. It will teach you to look for and to make the most optimum decisions. Suppress the accompanying irritation, learn to assess adequately and quietly a situation. Enter even the most unattractive alternatives and will understand, how many exists always options of actions. Here example: "Tomorrow important working meeting and Birthday of the friend in at one time. What to do? Options:
a. To go to D/R.
b. To go to meeting.
c. To leave – I never liked this work".
Think over consequences and advantages which this or that decision will bring.

Любому лидеру присуща целеустремлённость Set before yourself the accurate purposes and do not wait for their instant achievement. "Without effort you will not catch also a small fish from a pond" if you do not know for what put out a feeler. Instead of "well such it is possible to make to get to itself any job and not so-so, and oho-go what!?" speak to yourself "I want to get this job because I deserve it. And I deserve it because …" and continue unlimited number of times, inserting the merits which for certain will be much. But also it is work or increase to you will not give yet as it is necessary to try after all. Purposefully and systematically move in the planned direction. Also know, the purpose which want to reach is more accurate, the way to it appears more clearly. Therefore "any", "somehow", "why-nibud" whenever possible exclude words of type from the offers characterizing your purposes.
Especially the accurate statement of the plan and the purposes to other people, with whom you work or simply to members of that collective which are going to direct is important. Remember April theses of Lenin? Briefly, accurately, without leaving questions – also you so have to.

Учитесь признавать свои ошибки и принимать ответственность не только за себя, но и за группу Learn to recognize the mistakes and to accept responsibility not only for itself, but also for group. Try to do everything independently and not to shift the most important to shoulders of others. Set these an example of the rest. Of course, distribution of duties if work in collective, is necessary, but let on your leader shoulders there will be more responsibility. It has to urge on you on the big calculation in activity. Also it is not necessary to give itself a weak point.
Also remember that you and only you as the leader are obliged to be aware of everything that is anyway involved in you and your group, the company, firm. To you and only to you to make all decisions.
Question of that is more important: interests of collective or interests of each member of collective – it is quite difficult. will not be able unambiguously to answer it and hardly it is possible. Everything depends on a concrete case. And the burden of responsibility lies on the leader. Only to it to think that is more important. Having remembered companion Stalin and respectively working, risk to pass for the tyrant and to receive dislike of people around. And indulging any whim, can lose the leadership together with respect. Here it is necessary to look for some average size which will change depending on external significant conditions.
Exists a good way to develop in itself a sense of responsibility: it is necessary to write ten or more offers which begin with the words "I Bear Responsibility for …" on a sheet of paper. It is not forbidden to enter the, at first sight, silliest words. This exercise will allow to rethink a little that, for what you consider yourself responsible. And behind the seeming simplicity importance of this exercise is covered. It can help to realize and eradicate desire always to look good for people around. And not to cause feeling of an otioseness, it is necessary to treat with humour to this exercise.

Organizing abilities
Лидеру необходимо гасить все возникающие разногласия. Помочь найти общий язык – довольно непростая задача, но, Вы, как лидер, не останетесь в стороне. The dissonance in any collective conducts to its disintegration, violation of its work. Anyway, but the mood in collective is created by mood of each his member. The leader needs to extinguish all arising disagreements. To help to find a common language – quite difficult task, but, you as the leader, will not stand aside. Knowing these two people, reconcile them in all possible ways. If it is any working group and it is impossible to reconcile them, divide that in operating time to minimize their contacts.
But, after all it is necessary to be able to unite people. It is possible to make it the general idea, the purpose, prospects. Unity can be reached only when all understand value and importance of each other. Then there will be both a mutual assistance, and aspiration as much as possible to give all the best for the sake of a goal. It is important for any collective, anyway, but it is always necessary to overcome certain difficulties together, together.
Communicating with collective, you have to learn personal opinion of each person, his occupation, priorities, a hobby, addictions, social and political positions, the purposes in life. It is necessary to distribute duties in group as much as possible productively, considering the knowledge of everyone, personal interest in performance of a certain activity of each person. For example, to someone more to liking a creative orientation of activity, unlike the one who is more inclined to exact and consecutive performance of work. But often happens impossible to consider personal addictions of each member of collective, then it is necessary to make the decision and to appoint performance of some duties to the person who, in your opinion, has to and can carry out them. But, in this case, the probability to meet discontent of "appointed" is great. And here, with all intelligibility peculiar to you and tactfulness, it is necessary to inform to the person that performance of this activity is important for collective in general and to support the words with prospect of obtaining benefit by it and, therefore, emergence in this person of interest.
Ability to unite and organize, undoubtedly, comes with experience. There is no such training program, having passed which, it would be possible to become the remarkable organizer. It comes with time and is inseparably linked with respect for you in your collective. Therefore it is necessary to build the relations in collective on the basis of trust, mutual respect and that defines efficiency of activity, on the basis of personal interest of everyone and collective in general.

And finally would like to advise not to refuse to itself pleasures. Try to do something for that there is a strong wish every day: buy cream cake and a rosette, go to the country to have a rest, descend on fishing or in a hairdressing salon (depending on a floor or addictions). Learn to feel pleasure from it. So learn to understand that everything that you want – is achievable. If any force majeure does not allow that, alas … but to you it is not necessary to accuse anybody. Five successful days in a week – a good indicator.
Well - with, companions leaders, acquired? I hope that article will help you to achieve with life of what you want and for what read article. In it its purpose. Now it was necessary to realize all this in life and forward to unsubdued tops. We wish you good luck.
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