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Psychology of the personality   Psychology of the relations   

How to force the man to marry

It is always more difficult to woman to say goodbye to stereotypes, and the status of "old maid" given it by the malicious neigbour can torment her is intolerable. The nature enclosed aspiration to raise children in ideal conditions when both parents nearby and bear responsibility for preservation of a family in the girl.

Agree, the legal marriage does not guarantee happy family life, however it is capable to present feeling of security and stability. Men have a relation absolutely other: they it is proud call themselves bachelors and rejoice to the freedom. And, in spite of the fact that the relations last not the first year, not really hurry with the offer of a hand and heart.

Why the man refuses to marry

"Marry me!" - with what impatience we wait for these words from the darlings! Also it seems, on the way fortunately the wedding train, a white wedding dress, a veil, a treasured wedding ringlet and, of course, a stamp in the passport about the introduction in a legal marriage is so necessary. But passes time, and the man cannot decide on the invitation in the REGISTRY OFFICE in any way. Why so occurs? As a rule, similar indecision is not connected with character or appearance of the potential candidate in the spouses in any way. It is all about the man. Here some of the most common causes explaining man's unwillingness to marry:

  1. Fear to lose freedom. Many men prefer to live in a civil marriage, mistakenly considering that official registration of the relations will bind hand and foot of them. And cohabitation, in their opinion, is absolute to anything does not oblige. From similar opinion blows as cynicism and sincere emptiness, after all decency, call of duty, generosity if they are, do not depend on existence or absence in the passport of the seals in any way.
  2. Friends. If your man has many friends bachelors, most likely, he does not want to be allocated on their background. Or, so to speak, to become first "married man". Sounds ridiculously, but you should not dismiss the similar reason.
  3. Fear of responsibility. So it developed that the man who got used to be responsible only for himself very much is afraid to shoulder care of someone else. Besides, also that it is necessary to endow something (money, time) can stop it, so, to refuse something to itself favourite.
  4. Material problems. Often the man is afraid that will not be able to cope with a role of the getter and is worthy to provide a family. After all not everyone can brag of high earnings which give confidence in tomorrow.

  5. Influence of parents. It happens and so that parents forbid the son to marry, motivating it with that he is still too young. Besides can happen so that the darling is not pleasant to them in spite of the fact that the relations last long enough. And it is not so simple to dismiss parental opinion, after all then it is possible to lose support from their party (it actually for those men who not really strong stand on the feet).
  6. Wedding efforts. There are men whom one thought of "a wedding alarm" brings into despondency. The order of cars, restaurant, the invitation of relatives which did not see never in life only because it is so accepted they are considered it necessary to nobody a performance.
  7. Greed. It first of all concerns wealthy men. They in panic are afraid that future spouse will encroach on their property. Though often all wealth is reduced to a second-hand car, the parental apartment and an average salary. But cheapskates are proud of existence of similar "luxury" and are afraid of it to lose.
  8. Unsuccessful experience in the past. Perhaps, the man wants to avoid repetition of quarrels and scandals which took place to be in the previous marriage. From here it is possible to draw a conclusion that it simply is afraid to spoil the relations a stamp in the passport.
  9. Unwillingness (or fear) to bring the child. It is known that the family is not considered full if in it there are no children. But it happens that the man is not ready to it or simply is afraid that with the advent of the kid, yours to it the relation will cardinally change. And therefore delays the offer of a hand and heart.
  10. Negative memoirs from the childhood. If your elect was brought up in a dysfunctional family among alcoholism, a manhandling and continuous scandals be not surprised that he in every possible way avoids marriage. Most likely, he subconsciously is afraid of repetition of these events.
  11. Obsession with career. The men who got used to carry out the most part of life at work and not to think of anything except career do not hurry to marry. After all they understand that hardly there will be a woman who will agree wait silently for weeks it from business trips. Besides "careerists" quite often perceive marriage as a hindrance on the way to professional success.

How to force the man to marry

So it was moved that men often for one reason or another (and we listed only the most widespread) refuse to take the first step. But women have some advantages, after all the nature allocated them with flexibility and cunning. Not for nothing say that the man – the head, and the woman a neck. After all to us, women, is intended to direct skillfully man's acts and in time, and, the main thing, accurately to start this or that program in his brain. Today Mirsovetov will prompt some cunnings which will help to push the man to so fatal decision. Here they:

  1. Be unique. Also remember that the beauty, wealth or intelligence are not obligatory at all. It is necessary to develop only in itself confidence and optimism. Convince yourself that you really want in marriage and safely go towards a goal. Do not pay attention to opinion of people around, after all such as you are not present more. And the clever and worthy man will surely notice it and will appreciate.
  2. Never start talking about marriage of the first. After all it is important to man to know that him to anything do not force and the decision he makes independently. Besides, you should not limit its freedom and if he decided to descend with friends without you somewhere - do not make rows. Otherwise he will decide that after a wedding the wedding ring will turn into a strict collar.
  3. Do not resort to blackmail and threats at all. It concerns first of all those who tries to become pregnant, in hope to approach a wedding. Consider, the general child will not stop the man who decided to leave you.
  4. You should not try "to buy" the elect promises that your parents will buy the apartment, the car or will help to hold a good position. Similar statements will frighten off the normal man, and the gigolo and for nothing is not necessary to you.
  5. Do not speak with your elect by phone more, than 10 minutes. It is not necessary that he felt that staying at home, on a soft sofa it is possible to have a good time conversation with the beloved. For the similar privilege it is necessary to lift one place at least …

  6. Do not insist on acquaintance to parents or friends. Let the initiative proceed from your elect. Men – beings freedom-loving also you should not deprive of them this illusion.
  7. Allow it to take the leading position (let him choose a place for carrying out leisure). It does not mean at all that you have to visit places which are not interesting to you. Some delicate hints and the sensitive man will catch your desires. If it does not occur - reflect, whether it is worth making efforts?
  8. Do not try to change it and do not feed hopes that it will change. Miracles happen seldom. Men are, as a rule, not inclined to changes. Therefore accept all events such what it is actually. Be patient to its shortcomings (of course if they are harmless).
  9. Become mysterious, but do not lose sincerity. Men are brought very much by secrets therefore do not deprive of the opportunity to dream up.
  10. To a wedding do not live together and do not leave in his house of the things. In this case the man will feel danger to lose you.
  11. Become for it irreplaceable, at least in some things. Let all most pleasant be associated with you, and the most important, your elect has to believe that everything that you do for it, gives you pleasure.
  12. Show (only carefully) that you are capable to be pleasant to other men. A little jealousy will not prevent.
  13. Having sex, be completely given to feelings, without thinking that is possible and that is not present. Be sincerely, after all a bed - not a theatrical stage and to you it is not necessary to represent from itself what you actually are not. The man will surely feel falseness.
  14. Convince him that nobody understands it better, than you.
  15. Pay its attention to happy couples familiar to you. Besides useful will describe occasionally delights of family life (joint evenings in front of the TV under a cozy plaid with a wine small bottle, for example).
  16. Remain always seductive and well-groomed. Let it stay in confidence that after a wedding you do not turn into the house sitting duck in hair curlers, and he will still be able to be proud of your beauty which belongs to it already officially.
  17. Treat validly his parents, especially mother. Believe that it is better to catch it in the ally, than then to stay all life in a condition of cold war.

And at last, remember that life, in any its manifestations never gives guarantees of that having arranged the private life (having received a treasured stamp in the passport), you never will be devoted, thrown and lonely any more. What would not be happiness – lawful or not, after all it is worth fighting for it. At what it is constant, never stopping on the reached.

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This photo is made on the rooftop No. 26 on Nevsky Avenue on July 1, 1882. On it the staff of firm of Bell who just brought the Russia's first telephone exchange into operation. At the time of opening in Moscow and St. Petersburg there were about 130 subscribers.