"The first feeling to which carefully well-mannered young man is susceptible is not love, but friendship".
Zh.-Zh. RussoFriendship between the man and the woman – the myth or reality? It is an eternal question on which how many people, are so much and opinions rather. It is possible to argue as much as necessary, but it is worth trying to understand on the example of concrete life situations.
Everyone perceives the word "friendship" in own way. It is known that any relations are checked by time. And now we will take a concrete situation when the young man who had relations for a long time and he is happy, meets on the site "VKontakte.ru" the girl, thus not one, there is a question – whether the Internet friendship is acceptable? Meetings in real life do not occur. Whether the girlfriend recognizes him about such friendship in a network or not? The controversial issue and even if learns, speaks as "simply ", "it is simply interesting to communicate not only with guys, but also with girls". Also this guy has a girlfriend who is obviously not indifferent to it, but he long does not recognize it. And having recognized, says that to it all the same even if she something wants from it, will not receive, since for it it only friendship.
Research of the Dutch psychologists showed that the number of the people who are communicating and getting acquainted in a network increased. It turned modern technologies into the original instrument of social communications.
Whether Internet communication can be stronger than real friendship? Because of such virtual "meetings" guys and girls quite often appear in a trap of doubts. However the wide range of acquaintances, the is more than interest in the relations between close people.
Friendship since the childhood
– We still communicated, – Andrey speaks. – Usually so girls – with night calls and sudden "are on friendly terms and let's meet now". In these relations there was something in an adult way the serious.
Often happens so that the friendship from the cradle comes to an end and develops into a storm of the relations. You together went , to school, your parents communicated, and now? Suddenly Andrey and Irina's relations – my friends, developed into something bigger, namely into the most true love! Already on the fourth year of training at university Andrey made the offer to Ira. Unfortunately, not all life situations are similar. Perhaps, it is a certain attachment. It is inexplicable, everything occurs on "time, two, three", but not always comes to an end with long family happiness.
Whether the friendship between the man and the woman is possible?
The friendship, love is something kind, light, but the friendship between the man and the woman should not be much, consider one, and in Svetlana Abramova's life there was everything differently. There are many various life situations, one of such was based that they at first met, then simply were on friendly terms, as well as all ordinary people. The love left, there was an easy friendship, all not as earlier. According to the young man from this history, firm friendship is possible at more advanced age when at people vital interests were already completely created, they already have the family and they have no need "to be on friendly terms" with other women, than at teenage age. And not always, by the way, it is possible to protect development of friendship into love or on the contrary.
There is also other opinion that the friendship between the man and the woman is quite possible in the presence of common interests and outlooks on life. One more opinion says what friendship between the man and the woman, the same, what friendship with the woman, only without discussion of such global questions how "And what to me today to put on?", etc.
Anastasia – the girlfriend from my former work, speaks with confidence that the friendship between the man and the woman – does not exist and cannot exist. Such friendship means attachment, emotional bond, but whether it unless addiction and love which can become love?
In the following history I was practically the witness of events. So it developed that there lived Igor and Oksana nearby from each other. Besides there is an opportunity to meet soon. Shortly before March 8, 2009 he reported that it has a girl. Oksana could not believe in it because throughout that time that they communicated by phone and several times met, it told: "You are very dear to me, you to me became the good friend". Igor that day told that his girl very much is jealous. Why did not tell about it earlier? Initially he answered that does not know why, then that forgot to tell, probably, and then told that simply did not want that they knew each other. It turned out so that in a month Oksana got acquainted with his girl Anna. At a meeting the young man exclaimed: "What I to you friend? I so do not think". And whether there was a friendship? Unfortunately, Oksana does not believe in friendship between the man and the woman now.
As it appears, a lot of things depend on , perception and reaction in different life situations.
Reasons of friendship of the woman and man
And still, despite a big variety of possible life situations, I want to give some typical situations in which establishment of the friendly relations between the man and the woman is possible for readers of InfoAdvisor.net. As you will see, not everything is so smooth if in the relations there is no sincerity …Reason No. 1. He / she to me as brother/sister.
The relations between real brothers and sisters not seldom sravnitelna with communication between representatives man's and female, but in such cases, of course, at them, any and that, parents, genes, the past and so on, but the relationship is sometimes felt. At teenage age such "brother" can stand and support "sister" in when on a place of the girl there has to be a brother, but it simply is not present. At long communication, within several years, such sisters and brothers have a big trust to each other, therefore, it leads to confidential friendship. A time of the girl and guys even ask councils how to arrive in this or that life situation.Reason No. 2. There are common interests, but he / she is not pleasant to me.
For anybody not a secret that most of representatives of the man's and female choose object of communication, being guided only by common interests. Quite often general interest is any activity or a hobby. It can be anything, beginning from a collection something, finishing even with soccer though it interests girls less often, and young people are attracted by soccer and by itself communication with the person interested in it it is not less. It is simply interesting to it to be with each other, to discuss something. It can be even ordinary business communication. For example, such discussion can become a treasured key to communication, but such communication and such friendship comes to an end in that case when one of representatives is not interested in a certain type of an activity/hobby any more. Reason No. 3. There is a guy/girl, it is simply interesting to communicate.
It is often possible to meet girls and young people who have a soulmate, but in this situation they easily communicate and with other man's/female representatives. My friend Alyona has friends with whom it is simply interesting to it to communicate, thus it has a young man Sergey with whom they are happy the third year. According to Alyona, it does not disturb her in the relations with Sergey, it is simple to eat a certain category of guys who, by the way, also communicate and with the young man of Alyona. With them it quite can go anywhere, for hours to stir by phone and at real meetings. Thus they remain for it just friends.Reason No. 4. I want to leave him / her so far "for emergency".
What can turn out from this? As it became clear, such type of friendship – most that on is "dirty". When studying such "friendship" I had doubts, whether and friendship it? The true friendship assumes communication, at least existence of common interests, no more than that, and if there is an option of that one of the parties can leave her / him for the best times is most often comes to an end with quarrels. Present yourself on a place of the girl who learns that her best friend wants to leave her "for emergency". Reaction of the girl will be negative, as well as reaction of the young man in the same situation. Everything can manage only if "for emergency" extended from both parties. Reason No. 5. I test to it / to it sympathy long ago, but only in friendship I will be able to support communication.
Here and so it is also necessary to suffer from some. Heard many stories, but most often they are similar. There is an opinion that the sympathy becomes noticeable only after the man or the woman begin to communicate with each other as good friends. Here it is also necessary to make some plans of "capture", but one of the parties it is not interesting at all and is not even noticeable. Recently on the Internet came across the quote in the form of dialogue:
- I love and am loved.
- I congratulate!
- There is nothing. These are two different men.
The first – it is seen, who does not notice feelings, and another – the sincere admirer to whom she does not pay attention at all. Difficult to wait for mutual sympathy from someone's party therefore such friendship collapses sooner or later.
In existence of friendship between the man and the woman there is enough moment to destroy this friendship. Having studied this subject, it is possible to tell with confidence that everyone solves for himself, whether there is such friendship, real it or something bigger. And the InfoAdvisor.net magazine claims: "In friendship between the man and the woman there are no barriers!".