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Psychology of the personality   Psychology of the relations   

Children's aggression: what is such and how to cope with it?

Very often, on the street it is possible to see such picture when the kid of 2-3 years desperately beats the mother, shouts and stamps legs, and that, in reply too not him swears, trying to calm. It is the most striking example of children's aggression which we see nearly an every day.

Very often on the street it is possible to see such picture when the kid of 2-3 years desperately beats the mother, shouts and stamps legs, and that in reply too not him swears, trying to calm. It is the most striking example of children's aggression which we see nearly an every day.

But, you see, after all it not norm in education of children and especially not the correct behavior of the child. Perhaps the one who has no children yet, will tell that parents who "could not bring up the kid" are guilty of everything. However those who faced with similar, know that in this question not everything is so simple as it seems.

As children's aggression is shown

As we already told, children's aggression can be expressed in a fight with fists and shouts, however there is more to come. The child who is subject to such state, can be simple disobedient, do everything counter to parents, specially scatter toys when he is told them to clean, to break and trample down them and so on.

But worst that behaving thus, the child starts getting to unpleasant situations not only in the bosom of the family, but also in a garden, and then and at school. Of course, if in time the correct actions are not taken from parents.

Moreover, if nobody specifies to it the correct way of development, he can get used to that everything that is necessary for it, it is possible to achieve by force. It is not surprising that having become a little more senior, he will not fail to strike and mother (though it can start doing it and in those 2 years). And it will already address more serious problems in the future.

Why it occurs

There is no uniform reason which causes children's aggression, but it always has the source. Let's consider each of them one after another.

The first and the most frequent is a repetition of behavior of parents. The matter is that many adults notice only bad behavior of the children, but thus do not analyze the acts at all. For example, having become angry, mother herself can shout on native or shut the door with a bang. The child who at the age of 2-3 years is very susceptible, understands that and it is necessary to do when you are angry. That is in itself he seemingly not bad, but simply tries to be same, as well as adults who surround it. Therefore, the first, on what it is necessary to pay attention to readers of is how you behave and that do in this or that situation.

The second that often causes aggression in children is an ordinary fatigue. The small child is not able to distinguish different feelings and emotions yet, sometimes simply does not know how they can be expressed, and therefore the charter, starts crawling or doing dirty tricks.

Here it is worth referring annoyance, fear, feeling of alarm. Kids very sensitive, and therefore at once react to everything that occurs in the house. If the situation in it suddenly changes and becomes really heated (for example, adults swore), it starts discharging it independently, but only those methods which to it are known.

Though there are cases when parents assure that the house of anything similar is not present also the child they it seems as "correctly" brought up, and it all of a sudden suddenly became very active and in general cocky. Here it is possible to give some more reasons of such behavior.

Perhaps, he was sent recently to a garden where it still should adapt and learn to prove to everything in collective. Or, maybe, goodhearted grandmothers and grandfathers simply razbalovat the little commander who needs to cry as he is given at once, everything that it was necessary for him if only he kept silent.

How to cope with children's aggression

If you noticed similar signs at the kid, it is not necessary to consider them "not terrible" and that "will pass with age". They never pass completely and always postpone the trace on mentality of the child. Then, when he will grow up, he will start breaking already on friends, parents and on a family, eventually. It will pour out in that he will consider such behavior as norm, and therefore he will not consider physical punishment of own children as something forbidden or inadmissible any more.

Perhaps, the most important condition in fight against aggression is its complete elimination from life of the kid. Naturally, we cannot provide all events, however in process of opportunities, it is necessary to make so that the child did not face such examples any more. Let's tell, to cease to beat him on a bottom (and it does most of parents), not to shout at him and to learn to apply absolutely other ways of education.

  1. So, the first. Instead of once again taking a belt in hand, it is necessary to gather and approach the child with intention to explain to him that he made incorrectly and why. Perhaps, he simply does not know what so it is impossible to do yet. Therefore he should tell everything in a form, available to it.
  2. The following step is a choice of more sparing punishment method if it is so possible to be expressed. For example, from now on at each bad act you will put it on a stool of minutes so on 5-10. It will force it to sit a little, to calm down and consider the actions. However there is an important condition: the chosen method needs to be repeated regularly at any disobedience, so the child will remember and will understand that if he will make something not so, instead of game will sit in one place.
  3. Remember that to abuse the kid later a long time or not the next day after he something did is a waste of time. Everything should be done in time, and it is even better at once. As over time he will simply forget that he such made that mother is again dissatisfied. At all such as ours and any actions he perceives its world in a different way. All it seems big and significant, and among all this before the termination of day he can absolutely forget that was in the morning.
  4. Teach the kid to cope with the anger by other methods. None of us cannot be insured with such feeling as anger and irritation. To keep them in itself – too not an exit. And therefore teach the child to express emotions by means of words. For example, instead of hitting the girl who took away from him the machine, it is necessary to advise that he simply told: "Masha, I annoys on you because you took away my machine" or something something like that. Even doctors confirm that verbal expression of negative emotions helps to cope with them without use of more aggressive methods.
  5. Scattering of toys too can be referred to children's aggression, especially, if they fly on a floor because the child became angry. And therefore too it is not desirable to lose sight of it and at once to teach it to bring together them and to clean into place. It is quite good to teach him to such feeling as compassion. For example, the toy fell, so it is necessary to tell it that it cries, after all to it sick now and it is necessary to take it on handles (of course, the method is suitable only for the smallest).
  6. One more important condition – do not forget to praise the children. For some reason only bad acts of our children and while they do something good are inclined to notice the majority of us, we are silent, thinking that all of them understand. No, it is necessary to be able to express the gratitude, to praise the kid, to say to him that he good and capable of a lot of things. Thus, he will start thinking of himself from the good point of view instead of considering itself(himself) "bad and disobedient". After all both in the first, and in the second case he will try to correspond to the characteristics.

Apparently, children's aggression is very difficult phenomenon which cannot be neglected. Analyse current situation, think why your child started arriving so, and find the education method which is most suitable for you. Only remember that physical violence and shout is a proof to that you, the adult and the clever person, could not cope with own emotions.

Well, and if business is thin at all, you cannot cope with the squabbler at all, then it is necessary to admit that without the assistance of the expert not to manage. There are cases when at children serious deviations of mentality which demand medical intervention are observed. In that case at first go to the pediatrician, and that will already advise what to do farther.

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